My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we're chasing vodka with high fives
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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