whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
