I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
