Sponge bath it is.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
