The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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