what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
