apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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