Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
