good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
