you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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