You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he thought i was a dude.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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