His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
