One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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