Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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