Tell her she can't have a vagina
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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