mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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