it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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