She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
