i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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