he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
