Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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