Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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