How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
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