no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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