I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
