I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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