Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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