That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
