Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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