It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
