grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
