Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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