I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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