I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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