My first STD was from a foam party
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
