Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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