thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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