We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
