he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I party with great urgency now.
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