Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
