I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
