ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
