I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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