First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
