Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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