I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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