thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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