jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Green mimosas i think yes
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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