Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
