Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
