So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Dick very happy bro
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize