dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
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