i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
