That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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