im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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