I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
