my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
