quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
