My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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